I CAN’T EVEN DESCRIBE IN WORDS HOW ELATED AND BLOODY WONDERFUL I FEEL WHEN I READ THIS BOOK. LIKE, I COULD CRY HAPPY SALTY TEARS JUST FOR THIS BOOK AND IT WOULD DO IT NO JUSTICE!
I mean, this book makes me want to jump in a river and scream hallelujah randomly
I am sorta what you’d call a fuss pot, or whatever cute name you can conjure (ooh, horror!) up that basically says I am very.. choosy. When it comes to my books, It has to be love at first sight or I will not read it. I WILL NOT READ IT. PERIOD.
**tries to ignore the fact that this ‘rule’ is probably the difference between missing the opportunity to read a very lit books. is sad. cries
Time travel to three weeks earlier and I’m in the library, doing um, bookish things. I was yes, a fuss pot, and wouldn’t agree to coming a week later (read: two weeks earlier) and temporarily forgot about that lovely lil saying I preach. *Delayed gratification all.*
And I was so out of practice, you hear?! It had been like, yonks since I had last indulged myself in wordy paradise and they no longer stocked any good books.
or maybe I just can’t see.
BUT THEN I SAW THAT BEAUTIFUL NUGGET OF ENCHANTED EVIL AND DESPITE THE FACT THAT IT SAID IT WAS FOR FIFTH GRADERS, I BORROWED IT. I BORROWED IT ALL! EXCEPT THE SECOND BOOK IN THE DARNED SERIES WAS MISSING.
CURSE YOU, PREVIOUS BORROWER.
The time and effort that must’ve gone into this series is pretty unimaginable.
The illustrations are so quirky and neatly drawn, and really set the scene. In fact, knowing me and my thinking patterns, a little section of my brain told me to borrow the book simply simply for illustrative copying purposes. Because that totally makes sense, doesn’t it?!
Did I mention that the author and illustrator are actual a husband and wife creative bookish/drawer-ish duo? Is that convenient/amazing or what?!
And don’t even get my started on the actual storyline. It was just so magical and crazy and it’s great me listing all the adjectives, isn’t it? Tells you a whole heap. BUT ALSO IT HAD SUCH BIG WORDS WHICH IS WHY IT JUST DON’T FIT ONE AGE GROUP. IT’S AN EVERYBODY BOOK.
Anyway, the series starts off with four humans, a mother, a father, a child bean we’ll refer to as mac, and our heroine, Prue Mckeel. She has a nice, simplistic life but yearns for more.. fate obviously grants that wish and she sets out with dear little Mac in his precious red wagon.. and all was well! (okay, like, the parents actually AGREEING TO THE TAKING OF THEIR KID BY THE OLDER ONE IS A TAD UNREALISTIC BUT IDC)
Until he gets kidnapped by a murder of crows. PLOT TWIST MUCH!
I know, I know. So evil!
Prue, being the caring sister she is, wishes she could crawl into a small ball and cry at her loss but she is caring and therefore knows that during this time of need, crying and balling oneself up will not serve a purpose so she hops onto her bicycle and off she goes, the chase beginning. She is soon brought to the Impassable wilderness, where our story takes place.. *cue creepy music*
Now, imagine something Narnia like. That’s sort of the setting of the story, which is, well, 541 pages long and sort of painful but I still love it.
Yeah, so back to what I was saying. Prue is freaking out. LIKE, FULL ON FREAKING OUT.
And it’s at that moment that our dear bubba Curtis, not really a friend but sort of a friend of Prue + soon to be coyote army child and accidental betrayer, makes himself present but adamantly denies following Prue.
Then he dies, nearly.
AND THEN HE GETS CAPTURED BY TALKIN WALKIN COYOTE SOLDIERS WITH ACTUAL UNIFORMS ON.
And Prue freaks out.
What comes next is a range of amazing events including but not limited to a blood thirsty, child hungry Dowager Governess, bless her soul, who is also a resident reincarnater and owns baby kidnapping bird creatures. Also talking/fighting/sparring animal villagers and a certain Bandit King, Brendan, who is not highly liked because of his thieving ways. And also magical elders.. *sighs in happiness*
And then there’s just so many crazy happenings! We find out that Prue’s parents were unable to have children, so they went to this blood thirsty, child hungry Dowager Godess, bless her soul, who is also a resident reincarnater and owns baby kidnapping bird creatures at midnight and walked across some creepy bridge and bam!! a couple of weeks later, there was a bun in the oven. 🤗
but of course the catch was that their second child (however they even had that second child because it was like a one child deal or so??) had to be given to the blood thirty child hungry- okay, I’ll shut up.
So yeah.. and the next thing you know, so much has changed. Prue’s parents are so happy to have her home that they sorta don’t even care about their missing son and just care for her safety, which seems mean but also like it’s the best thing to do.
And also a spongiform. It sounds gross and probably is.
having or denoting a porous structure or consistency resembling that of a sponge.
“spongiform changes in the cerebral grey matter”
I FEEL SICK JUST TYPING THIS. EVERYBODY COMMENT WHAT THIS WORD MAKES THEM THINK OF. I’M THINKING SORE THROATS AND BACTERIA. EW.
IS THERE A WORD FOR FEAR OF SPONGIFORM?
Cause just in case you don’t believe me, there’s some so gross it’s actually graphic description of thingy in the book. It’s alive and, well, working with the dowager goddess- Alexandra, witchy lady. yep yep.
And that, in short, is the craziness of the first book in the series- *breathe.*
Mm.. so overall, I’d say this was about 4 stars if we’re talking ratings. It was very good with an extremely imaginative and at times, horrifying story line. I seriously it should be classified differently though- as much of a reader as I am, nine year old me would be totally lost.. For the illustrations, a definitive 5/5 star rating doesn’t even do justice! Look how beautiful it all is 😍
Only problem is that it took me ages to actually finish the book because as interesting as it was, it was long and just too much for a sitting.. a hefty 530 or so pages.
So! Do you like spoilers?
duh no do you like me? do you like spongiform? no you need help will you buy the book or the series? will you take months to read it?
Look at me there, talking to myself.