Youtube Channel! (:

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Welcome back my lovelies! Today, I’ll be sharing with you a bit more about my YouTube channel and giving you a chance to play more of an active role in the videos I post! ☺️☺️ Maryam’s Youtube Channel: infinitelyadaydreamer

Here’s a sneak peek of what you can expect to see: (yes, this also went on my Snapchat)

First off, I’d like to thank everybody who has viewed my channel already and/or supported me in any way. My blogging family, all you beautiful people, are precious beyond words and I appreciate you all so much. I’d love it if you could stop by my channel and subacribe if you like what you see. It’s a great help and I love knowing that my videos are being enjoyed!

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While I’ve talked about my channel in another earlier post, it wasn’t very detailed and was more of a monthly wrap up post so it didn’t focus solely on YouTube. Anyway, I’ve been posting videos weekly for three months now! All up, I’ve got fourteen videos so that means I never missed a week, and in fact, I got a few extra videos up. 😅

It’s been so much fun! My channel is linked to my blog (hence the same name) and focuses on lifestyle and art videos, but I also incorporate a few other themes every now and again. I do poetry, journaling, photography, vlogs, etc. 🐬💕

I’ve also decided on what my next video will be.. and I’m going to reveal it to you here! Let’s get excited everybody!

I will be doing a theories post, where I’ll readout a bunch of random theories from online and talk about them.

Honestly, it sounds so weird when I try and explain what I mean but you’ll see. 😂😂

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Anyway, that’s about it~ enjoy your weekend!

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She is me | Who I used to be.

Happy Wednesday! (:

[Reposted from https://justelm.wordpress.com/]

I was really moved by this post I read today from Just Call Me Elm. She had written about a time in her life and how it was no more, and it gave me a bad case of nostalgia. It’s very moving and well written, and I’d like to thank her for sharing this!

There was a girl once that was afraid of saying “I love you” but after a while, she got over her fear and revelled in the blooming exultation of wanting to say it. That girl said it to someone, happy, smiling because it was correct and there was no fear attached, no turning back from the gaping yet welcoming truth. The idea of a feeling crashed inside her chest as waves on sand, shaking with the enormity of it; she carried it in her heart, a glorious gift of secret longing. Solid and golden, it was just beyond the hand of someone else, flittering; they kept it, shared, forever. Until it wasn’t.

There was a girl who loved writing. Words poured out of her, like expelling a breath; they tangled together in waves and shadows and created pictures she couldn’t see. She tasted the air and it echoed with words: there were letters in her smile and the solace she got was from creating a story. With eyes shining with new life, she took the whole world in as if it was hers to rebuild – as if she could change the world with a grin. She was poetic and altogether too whimsical, sharply realistic yet also prone to fantastical dreams in her spare time.

This girl devoured music, floating along with pianos and guitars yet grounded with her voice. Singing, not bird-like but nature-like, connected her to reality in the same way that writing let her explore it. She would spent time smiling over songs, heart swelling as the individual notes gave her some identity. Now, that view is glorified – perhaps she just listened – but to me, she was beautiful in it.

Despite her protests, she adored learning – it lit a spark in her as she ranted over books, characters growing and being shaped inside her head. It was as if she herself was a book, filled with little nuances that only came to light after she didn’t know herself much any more. They were good traits, solid, dependable – she was motivated, a steady pulse of resolve thrumming round her body.

Loyal, strange, sometimes wild, heart fluttering at the touch of a hand and when she kissed someone for the first time, her heart would warm whenever she thought of it. There was a little basket of memories she kept inside there, of people who loved her and called her beautiful – of the people she believed when they told her, even if she said she didn’t. Looking at her now, you wouldn’t think it; she doesn’t think it. Was that how she really was? Is she pretending she was more? When I think of her, though, I think of someone who, though still within me, was far more open and happily honest.

As her heart broke, that girl became more herself; she had morals and a complex, wonderful mind that loved her friends more than her own happiness. She was not happy, yet she was slightly content; she had a wealth of emotion among her shattered love that rose to the surface with an easy push. She was respectful, heart clanging painfully yet flowering with blossoms of hope and closure and expressed mourning. She was a whirlpool, except the foam rose high into the air, still holding hands and wishing fervently, a string-tether to her heart, for any kind of happiness.

I say this because this girl didn’t realise what was right in front of her until it had moved on. In living life, she didn’t know how much she cherished it until she wasn’t she any more, until she was replaced by someone who is more of a blank. The vibrant colours and personal identity, once so flourishing and silver, became bronze and duller as she grew smaller. She’s still there, in a little cavity called Hope, in a little drawer called Please Remember Me.

That girl is buried somewhere. I’d really, really like it if she came to the surface one day. Maybe she will; maybe I’ll remember that she is me. “Please Remember Me,” she whispers, after all. I just have to wait.

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 Are you doing any exams right now? What’s on your music playlist? what vibes are you getting from your social media lately?

Beautiful Books||Part Two

 

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And so it’s Friday afternoon and practically the weekend! I’d say that the week has gone quick but it hasn’t. 😂😂

Anyway, this is week where I talk about my budding NaNo novel! I’m writing everyday, except for the days where I go on a huge writing rant and end up having nothing to do for the next couple of days.. yeah.

oh, and this is pretty random, but I cut my hair today. I’m actually surprisingly good at it.

Anyway, into the questions!

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beautiful books

1. Overall, how is your mental state and how is your novel going?
Pretty good, I guess. I've had a very full on couple of days and they've 
sort of taken a toll on me but I know that my writing isn't suffering.
I'm completely up to date and really enjoying writing!

2. What's your first sentence (or paragraph)?
Because I'm very nice, here's a paragraph! >"<

"It’s amazing how much can change when you grow up and 
find out about abstract concepts like love or sacrifice. 
How somebody you’ve ‘known’ all your life could suddenly turn into a bad guy, 
like on those crappy addictive television sitcoms. 
I’ve watched a fair few of those in the past. 
They used to be my favourite genre- 
I loved solving the crimes, picking out the people I thought guilty. 
I was usually right too, always one step ahead of what was happening."

3. Who's your current favourite character in the novel?
My favourite character is my protagonists mother. She is fictional, but also
very inspiration! She played in a big part in the forming of my Protagonists'
childhood and like many mothers, had to make some really tough decisions 
which she handled very well!

4. What do you love about your novel so far?
I love how much of a writer this book has made me feel. I'm a good writer, 
I know that, but the thought of a new writing project is scary- where do I
even start?! What do I say?!
But, I've pushed through that and have a really good story so far. I love 
the ideas that have gone into this novel and the way I've incorporated them
into the story.

5. Have you made any hilarious typos or other mistakes?
Um, well yes. I have made quite a funny mistake, but If I mentioned it, 
I'd probably get blasted.. It's quite inappropriate. 😂 Anyway, question 6!

6. What is your favourite to write- beginning, middle or end- why?
I'd say the beginning! I love that moment when you just start writing and
end up with a really clever beginning. Ends are pretty good too! But the 
middle? That's just a helluva lot of writing. 😁😁

7. What are your writing habits? Is there a specific snack you eat? Do
you listen to music? What time of day do you write best? Feel free to show
us a picture of your writing space!

Writing habits.. hmm. Well, when I write, I usually like to have eaten 
and had a drink before. This could be anything.. early dinner even. I 
usually write best around the afternoon, because towards night time, I 
keep thinking about all the other stuff I have yet to do, and that just
equals horrible stress. Oh, and I do weird faces when I write. I just
leave a little bit of my tongue poking out and make a sort of squinty face.

8. How private are you about your novel when you're writing? Do you need a 
cheer squad or do you work alone? (like ahem, Batman)?

When I'm actually writing, my work stays fairly private.. when I'm not 
writing, I'm definitely not averse to promoting my super book!

9. What keeps you writing even when it's hard?

Knowing that I'm going to end up with work that I can share with my friends
and family keeps me going. Knowing that I could put in that little more 
effort and end up with something that could be published and be made into 
a real book is just a dream!

10. What are your top three pieces of writing advice?
1- If you're committed to something, really get into it. Tired? Take a 
break, don't quit.

2- Put your very best into your work. If you're not happy with something,
fix it until you are. Just don't make it an obsession.

3- Find a writing area that's peaceful and really allows your creative 
energies to flow. Add some greenery and sun!



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And now I’m off to write again. Yes, this has literally been my break time. 😅

How was your day today? What are you doing this weekend? What are you grateful for today?

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Beautiful Books||Introducing my NaNo novel!

 

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And it’s that month again.. November. I honestly can’t believe it’s practically the end of the year. But not quite.. welcome to a month of writing, that is, if you’re participating in NaNo or well, idk, whatever normal people do otherwise.

I’m actually a bit late to do this post because at the point I read it, I wasn’t involved but now I am, and I am very keen to start talking about my novel. 😂😂 This is my first time participating and while a novel of 50,000 words would be out of this world amazing, I’m going to go with the kiddy version and aim for 20,000 words.. alright, into the post now!

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The Questions:

1) What inspired the idea for your novel and how long have you 
had the idea?
Lately, I've been reading more YA fiction, and this is where I've taken my 
inspiration from. Two particular books, actually. They focus on issues that
real people face and I wanted to help spread the message. At first, I had
no idea whatsoever about what I'd write on, and I was debating over a couple
of topics but finally settled on one. I've had the idea for less than a 
month overall, it's still quite new!

2) Describe what your novel is about.
My novel is about racial inequality, assault and the subtle (and not so subtle!) ways
that people are shown prejudice against. It focuses on interracial families
and the way that people may struggle to accept troubles in their lives and
move on.

3) What is your book's aesthetic? Use words or pictures or 
whatever you like!
Image result for equality tumblr aestheticImage result for equality tumblr aestheticImage result for equality tumblr aestheticImage result for equality tumblr end assault aesthetic

4) Introduce us to each of your characters!
I have four characters so far- the main character, the mother, a nurse 
and the father.. so far. I have plans to introduce a new step family into
the equation.

5) How do you prepare to write? (Research, stocking up on 
chocolate, howling. etc?)
None, actually. 😂 I'm weird like that. I usually just formulate ideas a
bit earlier than when I sit down and begin to write.. and then everything 
just comes together. But, I must say, I really do enjoy snacking and 
watching Netflix before I bother to start writing.

6) What are you most looking forward to about this novel?
I'm looking forward to finishing this novel and sharing it with people.
I want this to be something that I'm proud of and that I want others to
know about. I'm really excited about the direction that my book is headed 
in.

7) List three things about your novel's setting.
My novel is set in a Michigan slum, where the protagonist has lived all 
her life, along with her absent father and mother. When the protagonist 
grows up, she finds her own flat in the same area. Her father's new 
family are wealthier and live in a better area.

8) What's your characters goal and who (or what) stands in 
their way?
My characters goal is to heal the wounds caused by her abusive father in
her early childhood, and to be at peace with the events that happened in
her later childhood. As she nears her 18th birthday, she will face her 
father and see her mother gets justice. Her new step family stand in the 
way of this goal.

9) How does your protagonist change by the end of the novel?
By the end of this novel, my protagonist turns around and decides to really
live, free from the pain and stigma that used to surround her. She will make
some really valuable connections during this time. 

10) What are your book's themes? How do you want readers to
feel when the novel is over?
I've already discussed the theme of my book, so I'll answer the next 
question. I want readers to feel empowered, like they can tackle big issues
and really make a difference to their own lives and the lives of those 
around them. I want this book to also encourage anybody who has personally
been in a situation like that depicted in the book to know that they are 
not alone and can find support and seek change. 

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So, NaNoWriMo- are you participating? Got any weird writerly habits? Do you think you can write 50,000 words in a month? Where do you get your inspiration from? Favourite drink?

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An interview with Kathryn Antle- what’s your life story?

Hi everybody!

Today, we’re going to pretend that it is Friday. Because I post on Friday, okay? Great. For some of you it really is Friday and not Saturday so I’m totally on time. 😂

Recently, I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing Kathryn on her life story. She lives a very free and eye opening life, swapping everyday life for travelling the world. I’d like to thank her for agreeing to this interview- it’s been absolutely amazing to hear about what this has been life for you and even better to be able to share your story 😊

You can find her at: https://bloomingwiththewildflowers.wordpress.com/

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Thank you so much, Maryam for asking me to do this interview. I had a lot of fun putting it together 🙂

1) Hi, I’m Kathryn and I’m 14. I was born in Florida and I grew up with my older sister Izabel and my two younger sisters Lauren and Rachael and my amazing parents. We lived in many states and we moved a lot. But when I was 8 years old we moved to Colorado and lived with my aunt and uncle until we found an apartment and settled into the longest home I would ever have. We lived in Louisville, Colorado for 7 great years, but always went on road trips around the US, but in 2015 we did something pretty different. We went on a road trip to Canada, then flew to Hawaii, and then Japan. It was the first time we had ever been out of the country. We loved it. So in early 2016 we sold our things in exchange for backpacks and made the world our lovely home. We volunteer and rent apartments, take local buses and trains and sometimes cheap flights. So far we have traveled to over 20 countries and it has almost been 2 years. We do our school work on free sites like Khan Academy and CK12, and we have no plans on going back yet. The world is a playground for the adventurous.
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1)What are five facts about you that you’d like to share?
1) I love drawing and painting.
2)I really like coding and web design.
3)I really like plants.
4)I like to write poetry.
5) I love animals.
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2) Favorite place you’ve been so far? Share a funny story!
I had a hard time deciding my favorite place because I have seen so many beautiful cities and towns that each have their own treasures. In Denmark, my family and I volunteered at a ceramics workshop and helped with a conference that was going on at the time. Denmark itself is a very beautiful country- the man who owned the workshop took us on a trip to Skagen which I have to say, is my favorite town. We went in October 2016, so it was very quiet and there weren’t many tourists. I loved that the buildings are painted yellow. Also, it is where the Skagerrak and Kattegat seas meet merging together the two shades of blue. But my most favorite part was visiting the Skagen art museum. The art was incredibly beautiful.
A funny Story: In Thailand, we were volunteering at a school in a small town called Uttaradit. Because the local people had not seen tourists unless they were in movies, they were so surprised to see us. My family is quite big, and because we don’t have a car, we walk everywhere, so it makes sense that the Thai people would call us the “duckling” family 🙂  Also, in multiple instances, stray dogs would also follow us around and join our “pack”.
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3) What are your biggest dreams and aspirations in life?
I dream of having a purposeful life and help many people. I would like to improve my art and writing. Maybe even open a cafe. I would like to be surrounded by amazing, intelligent people and be with my loving family.
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4)Do you have any weird quirks?
I make up lots of random words that nobody understands.
I like to collect lots small things for my journal.
I can’t help but drop my shoes and walk around barefoot.
No cat has never crossed my path that has not been pet.
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5) What issues do you feel really passionate about?
  1. Climate change
  2. Human rights
  3. World poverty
  4. Education

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Dodie- Intertwined; a song breakdown

Halo! ☺

That’s Indonesian for ‘hello’, in case it wasn’t obvious. 😂😂 I’m such a good student, practicing words out of classes. Clap clap. 😂😂

Anyway, the idea for this post was actually pretty simple. I’ve mentioned it a gazillion times already, I’m sure, but I had exams on last week and for English, we had to identify the features of an advertisement. And songs actually use visual and language techniques. And somehow, my clever brain decided to turn it into a studying/blogging opportunity!.. which I, unfortunately, only got around to now. Sigh.

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The music video starts off with a scene from a doll house, where the dolls, who closely resemble Barbie and Ken, live. Neat and beautiful, it is the picture of serenity and alludes to the general feel of perfect couple you get, especially in the next few scenes..

Skin, heat

Hair in your mouth

Feet touching feet

This suggests intimacy and gives a general cosy feel. The first two words are unexpected, random and stand alone, making you think. It is soft and melodic. The relationship isn’t perfect, but Ken acts as a safety net for Barbie.

Oh you

And I

Safe from the world

Though the world will try

This is a reference to how safe the dolls feel when they are with each other. All Barbie’s worries can dissipate, and it’s only her and Ken. Right in that moment, it’s only them.

Oh, I’m afraid of the things in my brain

But we can stay here

And laugh away the fear

In this scene, the dolls are at the table, and barbie is unravelling, all her thoughts, hopes, dreams and fears laid bare- her ‘brain’ visible. All the cracks and imperfections. The brains are made from raw mince, which is filthy. (I am fully aware of how weird this sounds!) and symbolises how mental illness is viewed.. as something misunderstood and dirty. But if they ignore mental illness, it will somehow go away. If they can replace it with warmth, and good- it will go away. The dolls are shown in bed, illuminated by otherwise surrounded by darkness. The song takes a new twist here, and we start to focus more on the real meaning.

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Numb

Fine

You create a rarity of my genuine smiles

Again, we have two words standing alone. They contradict each other and almost sound conversational. The second line can be interpreted as her partner being the only one who allows her to feel as she can’t do this for herself. She is shown cutting all her hair off, fully exposed and vulnerable, as you are with mental illness. Barbie is pictured smiling, covering her lack of feeling.

So breathe

Breathe with me

Can you drink all my thoughts

Because I can’t stand them

Dodie suffers from mental illness too- depression and anxiety. She expresses her desire for freedom from the monsters in her head. She is asking if her partner can bear that weight with her.. for her. You can only hide for so long though, and Barbie’s partner sees this. She is shown reaching out to her mirrored reflection, almost as if to say “where are you?”, “where have you gone?”. Blood suddenly falls everywhere. The weight of her thoughts in all their filthy glory. All coming down, covering him, her. Ruining him.

Intertwined

Free

I’ve pinned each and every hope on you

I hope you don’t bleed with me

Again, we have two contradictory words. Intertwined and free. This is expressing how, even though they are almost one being, Barbie is most free around her partner. Barbie is completely vulnerable in this scene, just sitting there. Bare. Alone. Continuing to project her hopes for herself on Ken, she doesn’t realise that he is just as affected at this point. He is bleeding. She has been consumed by her pain and he, loving her, has too.

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PS. Check these out for context! ((:

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So um, yeah. What did you think?

I honestly feel like this was a really weird post. What can I say though? I like analysing stuff. 😅

Was anyone else getting serious Melanie Martinez vibes though? I just have a thing for these kind of creepy/nice videos. Okay, that’s enough of me. Bye.

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