Happy Friday everybody!
You might’ve heard of the green eyed monster. You might’ve felt its wrath, even. My guess is that you have. I know I have, and that’s half the reason I’m writing this post: to kill two birds with one stone.
Hello teacher Maryam! Would you like an apple? 🍎
Well yes, and no. That green eyed monster, that’s envy. ‘Green with envy’, ‘feeling blue’, ‘seeing red’. All those colours we attach with feelings. They mean something.
Yesterday, I had a bit of a meltdown.
I was hella cranky and probably more nightmarish than a tired granny. And I hadn’t eaten dinner either. That didn’t help one bit. I told my parents I had no idea why I was so upset, but in reality, I did.
I was suffering from user envy. Have you ever scrolled through your social media, maybe an Instagram feed, and marvelled at the too good to be true, #blessed pictures you’d see? And by marvelled, I don’t mean felt inspired. If you, personally, take inspiration from a perfectly curated layout, three cheers and a hip hip hooray for you, but I know I don’t. And that was part of the reason I felt so badly. I didn’t want to be THAT person. I remember being told by a teacher once, back in year five, that envy was good, it was jealous that caused problems. This struck me as being a very odd thing to say. Nobody else portrayed jealousy in any light other than a negative one, and rightly so. What good could come from poison like that?
There’s actually a few social media accounts I’ve found myself obsessing over lately. They reflect my ideal, the style I wanted for myself. They seemed effortless, even though I knew that to be such a naive view. Everything we share, all that we post, it’s the best of everything. When others look on, that’s what we want them to see. Little bits of perfection. And all of that, it really kills your self esteem and how you see yourself, even if only temporarily. I found myself asking to use some of those pictures, and making my own copies of work they’d done. Of course, I didn’t allow myself to like what I’d created, because it was so me. And that was the whole point, right? To create something original? Right and wrong.
And that’s where desire induced anxiety comes in.. we all have primal desires, to love, to be loved, to be enough, even, dare I say it, to attain perfection. (Which is impossible, mind you.) It occurred to me, today, as I was reading a timely Frankie
article on this very topic, that I have a lot to say about it. Hence this post. We live in a world with so many outside influences, and we’re a just a little speck, caught up in the constants and changes of our society. We’re always being shown ways to live our lives: how to act, dress, speak, think.
And this could be so many things. Part of the new world order, freakin mind control, you name it.
I can tell you, in all honestly, I only like social media when it fuels my desires. When I get a certain amount of likes, enough comments reassuring me that my posting game is 💯- and when it’s not, I try and find ways around, try not to let the darker side of my mind mess around with my perception of my self, and how I should be. It’s in these times that, most of all, we need our logical thinking.
Social media platforms and all their little workings are said to build us up, magic and miracles through clever hashtags, smiling faces and reassuring captions, but they have so much potential to mess with our heads. It’s clever in a way, how much less we’d desire if we didn’t see other people with that very thing. It really goes to show, it’s not about what we want, and more about what we should want. These sort of techniques are also used in consumer advertising, in which we are convinced to buy, but who for? Ourselves, or the companies who see through dollar signs?