feminism. empowerment. for. everybody.

They tried...

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‘I’d tap that white ass.’

There’s this boy in my grade who has become quite notorious, or at least in my eyes, for his digusting, objectifying comments about women, about girls. He’s in my maths class, so I end up hearing a lot of what he has to say. He has a friend who thinks it’s funny to make rude motions behind the the teachers’ back. He must admire him, because he started doing it too.

I was in line one day last week, waiting to go to my english class. He was behind me, a tall, looming, big, maori boy. Not that I really cared. I was having a conversation with a good male friend when he suddenly stopped talking, and laughed. Some sort of disbelief mixed with genuine laughter. “Do you know what so and so is doing behind you?” I turn around. He’s just standing there. I turn back around, and all the boys laugh. “I’ll tell you in class.” my friend whispers, smiling. As it turns out, he’d been pretending to slap my butt. Multiple times.

It was a tiny bit funny, but not in the way  you’d think. And it prompted me to think.. “wow, that didn’t make me feel great. or even like a person, really.’ ‘

‘What can I do about that?’

Well, it has to be something.

Because I don’t want to live, nor have my generations live in a world where being a girl is the highest form of insult. Where we are objectified to that point that we feel ashamed to go out wearing anything that may be deemed revealing, in case we get called sluts. But, dressing modestly makes us prudes. Where we are expected to need men/ boys to save us, to help us, to be with us, to protect us, to fix our cars and mow our lawns and be top CEOs and go places and do shit. like. a. man. would. because. we. are. only. female.

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Feminism is an equal rights movement that aims to remove the disparities between genders, including those of people with non binary gender indentities. For example, the wage gap,As of today, Australia’s national gender pay gap is sitting at 15.3%. There is even more of a difference for women- and people, of colour.

Perhaps, the saddest part of all is that this happens a lot. It is common and ingrained in our society. Subtle and not so subtle sexism, I mean. There’s this girl in my grade who refuses to shave her legs. I have judged her in the past, and I still can’t wrap my head around why she doesn’t seem to care, but I no longer make it my problem. I choose to shave my legs, but that’s my decision. Do what makes you feel empowered, and do it for you.

Have you ever been told to man up, or stop doing something like a girl? I happens to boys too, and that’s why this is an everybody issue. Have you ever been told that your clothes don’t equal consent.. or that they do? Have you ever been shamed for what you choose to wear, or don’t?

An interesting point: there isn’t a male equivalent to the word ‘slut’ or ‘whore’, or anything like that. Not that it’s a nice word, and should even be used on anybody, but consider that.. us women, us girls; that’s not us, and yet, that’s what we’re sometimes made out to be.

Even things our parents, our friends, our teachers, do, can be offensive. In Year Seven, there was this very odd boy who liked me. He found out one day, that a girl in our grade had upset me, and so he took it into his hands to punish her.. he told me what he’d do by means of ‘demonstration’, pushing me under a small table, one hand over my mouth, the other groping me. There was no space to move, or words to escape my lips. I came out soon after, and all the boys laughed. He kept following me. And then there’s the boy who likes porn so much he tries to watch it in English class. Who thinks all girls will fall at his feet, drooling over his abs. No chance.

An angle not commonly discussed within this issue is animal rights being a feminist issue. It is wrong, in this day and age, to box up this issue and whittle it down to one particular thing. We must consider all.

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“Women = Nonhuman Animals = Sexualized = Dominated = Meat = Objects of Pleasurable Consumption.

Nonhuman Animals = Feminized = Sexualized = Dominated = Meat
= Objects of Pleasurable Consumption. ”

— Dr. Corey Lee Wrenn of Vegan Feminist Network

[I encourage you to visit this link to understand better]

“Animal rights is a feminist issue. There, I said it,” wrote Aph Ko, a contributor to Everyday Feminism. For Ko, the exploitation of animals’ lives and bodies parallel the feminists’ fight against the patriarchy’s general dismissal of women’s rights to their own bodies. She points out that many women, especially feminists, are very aware of the objectification rhetoric concerning the portrayal of women’s bodies in the media.

Many times, women are reduced to accessories in male-centered stories. “

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I wrote this post today because I believe that it needs to be talked about. This isn’t the first time I’ve opened myself up to criticism or mentioned ‘the unmentionable’, and it certainly won’t be the last.

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38 thoughts on “feminism. empowerment. for. everybody.

  1. What that guy was doing to you as a joke was disrespectful and I’m sorry to hear it. Objectification of women, many times as a joke, is disgusting. I honestly don’t understand why or how so many people can’t get past constantly sexually objectifying…what do you even derive from that? Although that’s beside the point it does make me wonder why so many guys in particular have nothing better to do than objectify others so horribly.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I am literally fuming right now… ugh disgusting. I’m so sorry to hear that you had to experience something like this, but thank you SO much for sharing this post. The world needs this so much, probably more now than ever. From my point of view, feminism represents equality for ALL genders – females shouldn’t be thought of as weak, males shouldn’t be expected to be tough and not have emotions… ANYONE shouldn’t have to feel labeled. This post is purely golden – thank you. *hugs* xx

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Good comes out of everything, even the bad, sometimes. I’m glad he did what he did otherwise I wouldn’t have thought of making this post and taking action for equality. I am SO glad this helped you, and I hope it can help others too. That’s exactly right! Nobody should be expected to fit any category, ever. Big hugs xx

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Really amazing post! This is so important, yet it feels like we’re powerless to change it a lot of the time because it’s so ingrained in our culture. Boys, especially our age, seem to think that objectifying young girls is the way up in the world. I just hope that one day they realise that they act like complete morons just to impress their ‘friends’

    Liked by 1 person

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  5. Hello hun,
    First of all I am so damn proud of you for opening up about this issue. I love when people use their blogs to spread word on important issues. Second, I am so sorry to hear about the incident in grade seven. Things like this disgust me; what goes through someones brain that makes them think it is okay to take advantage of another person?
    Love you loads xx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Omigosh. This happens a lot in my class but I shrug it off as immature guys having fun. Did NOT know what sexist b—-s they are (omigosh I almost said the word 😦 ) Anyways, great post.

    Like

    1. Oh yes.. it happens everywhere. I used to go to an islamic school, and I swear it happened more! I’m always getting random guys trying to chat me up. It’s absolute craziness. And haha, no worries! If it was me, I most probably would’ve just said the word haha xx

      Like

  7. Reblogged this on Cute But Awkward and commented:
    Oh. My. God. Sexism is something that I am FRICKIN’ feeling like using the Infinity Gauntlet against right now and forever. Great that you brought this to our attention. Maryam! ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Seriously though. This is such a big issue. There is this boy in my class who always degrades girls and his entire group of friends always talk innapropriate things about girls and how ‘big’ or ‘small’ their ‘things’ are. I know this because I’ve been called a slut by them and he had this plan to propose to me and kiss me without my consent and my bestie found out and she told him off. She was the one who told me about this. And today, I had gone to church and one of the priests was telling the girls present that we should behave. He told nothing about the boys. BOTH boys and girls should behave. It’s not just us girls. Everyone is equal.

    Also,I have nominated you for the Real Neat Blogger award. If you have done it already that’s great. I just nominated a few blogs I like. If you haven’t, the info is there on my blog post.♥️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! What filthy behaviour. Guys need to behave themselves. Enough of the animalistic bullcrap.. heck, everyone needs to behave themselves, doesn’t matter who they are!

      This isn’t quite the same as what happened to you, but one of my friends was recently told by someone she liked that if she watched porn for him, he’d go out with her.

      It’s a massive issue.. hopefully we’ll see change.

      Thank you so much for the nomination. I’d love to participate!

      much love xx

      Liked by 2 people

  9. Absolutely right it needs to be talked about. I am furious for you that all this still goes on. Do not stand for it and keep talking.
    Your analogy with animals is very interesting. In fact in all cultures where bad treatment of one group happens, that group are compared with animals – take Donald Trump’s recent comments about illegal immigrants as an example. It is about respect, or lack of. If we see a group as subhuman we can do what we want to them.
    EVERYONE is subconsciously sexist. And racist. What is important is that we bring it to the surface and question our assumptions, and only then can we really bring about cultural change.

    Liked by 1 person

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