I started a wonderful course called BLOOM this week, and today’s post is dedicated to just sharing some wisdom that I found out on the first week, because I feel like it’s really invaluable!
This is life advice, this isn’t stuff you hear at school. This is experience. I love you all so much, and I believe that every single one of you deserves to live your best life, and I want to do anything I can to help with that!
The course runs for eight weeks and was created by the wonderful Kaitlin Howitt.
It’s quite popular.. I think there’s about 23 of us BLOOM girls all up. Apparently, in the first ever intake, there were around 100 girls, which is just massive. It’s definitely going to be a great opportunity to make like minded friends, and I just find that so exciting.
Kaitlin is a gorgeous soul and I’m so lucky to have this opportunity to benefit from what she’s learnt. The course is paid, so I can’t share any video from it, but I took the time to write down lots of notes, which is what you’ll be seeing here, except in a shorter and more succinct form!
The way I’m thinking of doing these posts is going to look something like this: One post for topics I relate to more and have longer notes on, and maybe a combined post for topics I have less notes on 🙂
let’s get into it!
+ what self love really is
Self love is a lot more than a hot bath or an early bedtime.
It’s a commitment to self.
It’s something deeper.
Self love is something that we are born with, in fact.
When we’re little, we adore ourselves. We look at our reflections with curiosity, not hate and negativity.
So what happened?
As we grow older, that’s when we forget what self love feels like. We lose our self honour and self nurture. We think we never had self love when in reality it is so deeply ingrained within us.
Deep down though, we know self love and the places it resides, especially on our good days. We need to do everything we can to hold onto that.
The truth is that we are love. We are already that pure love. But do we show up and be that every single day? do we actively choose it?
It isn’t the love that’s lacking, but more so the actions that show it.
+ deep seated belief systems
As children, we create our own self beliefs. Everything is about us. But as we grow up, we can’t be in the spotlight 24/7. That circle expands and reaches out to everyone who knows us. And as adults, it becomes about the world.
We walk around striving to be something that doesn’t exist for us or anybody else. We need to reframe perfection for ourselves, because it is such an illusion. Everybody is imperfect. Yes, it is hard to go against what we’ve been been programmed to believe from a young age, but it is worth it.
+ women as role models
The way you see the women you admire loving themselves is the way you may grow up loving yourself. Likewise, your beliefs about women are heavily connected to your beliefs about yourself.
As females we suffer from this sort of perfect person syndrome because we believe deeply that if we were more of something or less of something, we’d be better people. This is forgetting that it’s perfectly okay for others to walk away and not vibe with us!
We’re the ones that grow up to become mothers, if that’s what we choose. And I challenge you to find a group of people more giving. People who believe they have to be everything for everyone.
+ the miracle of our being
An amazing fact for all of you: There is only one day in a month you can get pregnant.
Guess what that means? Every single thing had to align for you to be created. The circumstances had to be perfect. Nothing could be a little off. No, it was one way and one way only.
Even then, it’s common enough for people to get pregnant, less common for babies to be born. Statistically, there’s only a 20% chance that you’ll make it to full term.
So it’s very simple- even the fact that you’re alive means you’re already perfect.
The whole process of pregnancy, the fact that YOU were created. Every single part of you is the way it is.. that’s not by chance. It was meant to be.
+ your truth- this is what you owe yourself!
You can’t be judgmental AND curious. Notice and choose consciously how you feel.
Love yourself in your pain, your happiness, your grief. You are in the seasons of change. Let yourself feel.
There’s your soul and then there’s your personality. Between those are lines; gaps. When you close those gaps through self love, you feel alive and satisfied. This is how you should be.
When there’s a bigger gap, you feel depressed and unsatisfied.
You need to close that gap to align with and live your truth.
+ obligation & alignment
Obligation: When you’re doing what you feel you NEED to do for others, not for yourself.
Alignment: When you feel how right your actions are for you.
+ conscious living
Take the time to notice how you feel.
If something isn’t calling to you, if something isn’t a complete yes for you, don’t do it.
Check in with yourself and do what makes you feel good.
Put your oxygen mask on first. Take care of number 1. That’s you.
And that doesn’t mean being selfish.
If something leaves you drained, walk away. You need your cup to be full before you can help others.
Note: If something isn’t right for you, you don’t need to justify your actions. No is a complete sentence.
If everyone nurtured themselves first, they wouldn’t need as much help in the first place. Take that in.
People, experiences, things.. they can all provide nourishment. Or they can do the exact opposite.
+ checking in
Questions to ask yourself when in situations:
-Do I feel safe?
-Do I feel open?
-Do I feel good?
+ what to expect
When you begin to live in alignment, some things that are no longer right for you will begin to fall away.
This means you are making way for newer and better things to enter into your life.
If you don’t feel good about something, perhaps it isn’t meant to happen.
When you say no to something, you’re saying yes to what is truly right for you.
Likewise, when you say yes to something, you’re saying no to what isn’t right for you.
+ your journey in relation to others
Honour your and others alignment.
What is right for you may not be right for other people. As long as you respect others for their choices, your relationship with them should improve, not suffer.
When someone is lacking in self love, they aren’t acting in alignment and doing things that light their soul up.
+ the difference between alignment and disalignment
Situation: you’re sitting in a garden hose- there’s a constant spray of goodness.
But then, suddenly, kinks appear in the hose that stop that flow.
The way we apply this to life:
A kink is anything that stops the flow of your life being easy. Kinks are easy to spot because they make you feel resentful and a little off. What you should do is unkink little things. For example, I’ve been wanting to cut out fish. That’s a kink I can work on. But I also can’t solve everything, and that’s okay. Working on the smaller things and leaving the bigger ones for when you’re more equipped to deal with them is so important.
When you begin unkinking, you will notice that things seem to go your way more, go in your favour.
Your life will become more in alignment.
+ morning momentum
When you fall asleep at night, everything freezes.
When you wake up, it restarts.
So, you need to start a chain of good thoughts because a momentum starts. A single thought leads to another thought which leads to another and that sets the tone for your day.
It is so easy to have a good day.. or a bad day!
One thing you can do when you wake up is think of all the good things in your life. All the things that make you feel blessed.
For the first ten minutes of your day, check in with your heart and soul and how you feel.
-No matter how small the decision, even if it’s what you’re going to eat, ask yourself “what would the BEST version of me choose?” and follow that, because that’s who you want to end up being.
-What you put into yourself, you get out. This is so good to live by!