seasons of change: where I’ve been and where I’m heading xx

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hello my lovelies!

First off, I’d like to thank you for being patient with me. I know I’ve been very inactive of late, which, If I dare say so myself, isn’t like me. I’ve been pondering the reason for this, thinking of priorities and such, but really, blogging is something I love and can make time for. It just didn’t seem to happen. So, today, I’m going to open up a little about what my life looks like at this moment, and I’ll touch on my unplanned blogging hiatus a bit more too.

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Because I’d like to start in a place of honesty, I’ll admit that this last little while has been hectic, strange (oh boy, do I have stories for you..) and at times, really hard to cope with. It’s also been eye opening and beautiful though.

Some of my recent changes have included going vegan. My diet is now completely plant based. Now that I’ve finally taken this step, I feel deep down that it is so right for me and that makes me really happy. I want to be the kindest person I can. I am reassured every day that I am in the right.. I can feel it. I don’t want to say too much more about this because I plan to write a post on my vegan journey so far, so we’ll stop here, but keep an eye out for that 😉

Another significant thing is this big change in how I’m viewing school and education and the world. This term, I started at a new online school. This is also the reason why I haven’t blogged as much- I’m trying to work with a lot of different things and its’ proving a hard juggling act.

Basically, the school also has a campus but I decided to go for this program so I didn’t introduce too many new things at one time, considering I’ve been off school so long. The first day was quite daunting, and the second day I felt like I had everything under control. Come the fourth week though and I don’t know about any of that anymore.

My unfiltered feelings towards school are something like this: I know it serves a purpose, but I don’t know if it serves mine. The path I used to be on and the path I’m currently on are so vastly different that it feels as if there’s an ocean between them. I am learning so much more just by going about my day and being with other people. In fact, I feel new, in a way. Like a changed person. Another mindset shift, this is.

Maybe you’re feeling as if I should write that off as being a purely negative thing, but honestly, life is not black and white. It is all colours and shades and literally makes no sense sometimes.

I am feeling more and more like traditional education serves no one. Believe it or not, this year, having attended basically no school, I’ve still learnt more than I have in my whole schooling life.

I remember a time when I wanted to be school smart so badly. I wanted those perfect grades because that meant success and purpose. 

The only problem was that every time I reached those standards, everything that truly mattered seemed to slip further and further down this dark abyss. In fact, in very real terms, it nearly killed me.. and that made me angry.

It just feels like the system is getting our best years.

And this brings me onto my next point: I’m finding myself increasingly deep and thoughtful. I’ve always been this way, but it feels so heightened at the moment, like my consciousness is on another level completely. I’m comforted by knowing that my path from here on is going to be much less rocky and filled with a lot more light and revelation than I’ve seen before. I’m welcoming this change with an open heart and arms and I will it to work on me the way it should.

I will find purpose in this season of change, surreal as it may be.

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