welcome back to a new post, lovely friends- It’s been a while since I wrote something more light and chatty. There were some heavier things that I needed to get out there, but I’m looking forward to these couple of minutes we have here, and also the posts to come- they’re a lot more lifestyle focused 🙂
fifteen laps around the sun.
I’ve always been someone who has viewed getting a year older as something that would completely change me and everything I know, which is sort of weird, because every single year, I obviously get older and everything remains somewhat consistent.
My point with this post is to honour this sort of change over and invite good things in this year to come. To set a new intention, if you want.
I could never have imagined what fourteen would bring, in all honesty. I guess I thought it would be mediocre or terrifying. In reality, it was anything but. Yes, it was largely scary at times, and I experienced things I’d never put on a bucket list. However, It was also unpredictable and dramatic and damn beautiful, and I wouldn’t change it for anything, because every single event, good or bad, has added up to this moment. This is the reason I am living this moment, and I am grateful.
At this very moment, I am feeling so much- this time of reflection has me seeing everything- lots of moments, suspended, time I can’t go back to. Somehow though, I can feel all that emotion.
This year, fourteen year old maryam did a lot of things she said she’d never do- in the name of what, I don’t know. She had to live the same lessons until they stuck, and that sometimes took a while. In the last few months though, she found parts of herself and parts of a life she wanted to live, and she dove right into that until her reality looked like her dreams. She knew she didn’t want to wait, because that was too adult. Waiting is the reason for so many missed opportunities. So, I suppose, even with everything she has lost, she is brave and bright and wonderful and enough.
As for fifteen, this is the year I can change. The one I can sculpt exactly to my liking and continue improving in. This is going to be the year of no limits and boundless happiness. This is going to be the year of growth and transformation- the year I’ll recognise my true self, even if I look vastly different to the person I am today.
When you’re taught to climb mountains, hard as it may be, you begin to yearn for the view at the top.
this little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine ☆