Ask the three year old, raped in India, what she was wearing, then tell me it matters. Tell the infant, raped in Florida, to stop putting out, to stop being provocative.
Rape has never been about desirability or lack of control. Never about boys will be boys or men having needs. Rape is about a perverse, power difference. A sickening imbalance that some individuals take advantage of. Rape is about exerting power! Rape is a hate crime, not a compliment! It does not discriminate.
To all the men, women and children, to all the abusers, defined by actions, not gender or intention. Let me tell you something about rape.
Consent is valid only when it is given enthusiastically and willingly. Yes is consent. An unmistakable nod, consent. Maybe? Probably not. No, is rape. Silence is not to be misconstrued. The lack of objection, the lack of participation. Assume non consent. Rape- much more black and white than some of us would like to believe.
It’s funny. When you are raped, people like to ask a lot of questions. What you were doing out alone, why you were in a certain place, what you said.. or didn’t. The simple fact is that there is no acceptable justification for rape- there never will be. There should be no questions, just support and understanding. Our society is hell bent on victim blaming, taking the focus off where it really needs to be.
On speaking out after rape- sometimes the words come afterwards. Sometimes they don’t stop. Sometimes they never do. That’s okay.
Let me tell you something about rape- that it does not define you or undermine you.
Rape is body snatching. Rape is a goddamn home invasion.
The rapist reading this will ask who the rapist is.
Why, it’s you! Don’t you recognise yourself? I didn’t either.
Your rapist is not faceless, nameless. Your rapist has many facades. You have seen them all.