Your pain is valid and completely unworthy of comparison. Your pain is personal and your tolerance levels unique. You are held and supported, even when you might not feel it.
In a society where emotions equate to weakness and feeling makes you lesser than, it’s easy to fall into the trap of masking our pain.
If you’ve ever tried that though, you’ll know the truth of it- bandaid fixes don’t work on gaping wounds. The inside work, the healing within, is what you need.
Feelings are not right or wrong.
They are natural sources of information and indicators of how we’re doing.
If avoided or suppressed, painful emotions do not simply leave, but manifest in other ways and become harder to cope with.
Pain, minimised or denied, does not heal.
A couple of weeks back, before my overseas trip, my brother and I were going to get travel vaccinations. It was actually a comment made by the nurse there that inspired me to write this post. This nurse was quite pushy, very opinionated and completely no nonsense. My nine year old brother got his injection, said “ouch!” and so she told him to “ask your mother how it felt to give birth to you!”
It was such an unnecessary comment and I wondered why she’d bothered to say anything at all. Was there a competition I’d missed? When did comparison become useful?
Pain is relative, so even people experiencing the same thing will not actually be experiencing it in the same way. When we make excuses for others pain, it’s a good indicator that perhaps we are not so well ourselves. True conquering and mastery of negative feelings lies in the way we deal with them- not the way we sleep, eat, drink or distract them away.
I’ve been falling into that trap myself lately. I find myself overwhelmed or “done” with the way I’m feeling, so I head to bed and try to sleep it off. It’s become my safe state- I am still here, technically, but I am not expected anything of and I don’t have to show up. Really, it’s become my cop out. When I feel that way, instead of taking the easy route, I try and challenge myself to pray instead. Even though I might not always want to, the feeling of peace and the burden lifted afterwards is what keeps me going.
Throughout all the confusion, what is within our control is our response to situations. That is where we hold power.
Sending so much love and light. Take care of yourself.