This week has been one of literal and metaphoric rain. I’ve gotten my first cold and in summer, no less. The warm weather just hasn’t stuck around this year. Then again, everything but covid has seemed to say “bye, see you later!’ so, really, It’s a big mood. I wouldn’t call it a terrible week or a write off as such- I find rainy days to be cosy and the perfect opportunity for endless hot coffees, naps and netflix episodes, for a start. I even managed a scrumptious dinner and dessert out with my family this weekend. Yesterday, we headed into a Chinese restaurant at burwood and had dumplings, a spicy chicken dish and egg fried rice. All were scrumptious apart from the chicken that had been overly spiced! My dad on the other hand, being a native Pakistani, quite enjoyed the flavours my brother and I couldn’t handle. Afterwards, we visited a profiterole cafe in Strathfield. It was quite the busy, bustling place, especially for the time of evening. We ordered pancakes with belgian chocolate, a scoop of french vanilla and strawberries. The pancake serving wasn’t quite the stack we imagined it to be but was enjoyed immensely nonetheless. I’m more of a savoury gal so rarely order pancakes, waffles or sweet brunch and dessert items! At this point we needed something a little more. After looking at the many treats and delights in the front window, we chose a slice of red velvet cake and got a chai latte, hot chocolate and mocha to go with.
Onto the more serious part of my week.. my main issue these last few days has been in communication. There has been a definite trend of struggle in this particular area. I’ve replied to messages and comments on the later side, written out my blog posts last minute, struggled to explain to a depop seller why she should ship my order in a timely fashion, wrote an impatient message to a brand who I felt ignored by and let many an instagram message fall into the abyss. I’ve ended up chalking these many miscommunications down to being a symptom of a bigger problem- my penchant for overthinking. Whenever I feel weighed down by my circumstances, I resort to certain patterns of behaviour that are quite typical for me. Instead of sorting through the mental clutter by prioritising tasks and coming up with a gameplan, I spend all my energy working on a solve for the small fry stuff. In my mind it makes perfect sense. If I can’t work towards fixing the bigger problems anytime soon, why not mull over smaller dilemmas while I wait? Surely, if I dedicate enough mental energy and focus my thoughts solely on these matters, all will work out and I’ll instantly feel boosted.
Instead, I had just let myself feel down. I didn’t stop to acknowledge the significant wins this week had been marked and defined by. To start with, I was invited to be a part of the Alya Skin launch team for their new product, the Vitamin C Supercharged Serum. They are a fabulous skincare and wellness brand you’ve no doubt heard me rave about. I’ve collaborated with them in the past and feel so fortunate to be afforded this opportunity yet again. This news left me feeling so overjoyed and really affirmed my progress as an evolving content creator. It feels good to be wanted and needed for a job. With this newfound confidence, I went on to reach out to another two brands. A clothing boutique and cult favourite skincare brand. The status of the two are now as follows- the clothing boutique received my message, read it and put me on the back burner for a few days. I took this to mean I wasn’t worth a response and sent a somewhat hasty message. The contents of it were nothing bad and may have actually been warranted had I waited longer and still received no reply. It’s safe to say that my success with that brand is now very much up in the air. I doubt I will hear from them again. Oh well, you live and learn. As for the skincare brand, real-u, I’m maintaining hope. I had initially sent them a message through instagram before being redirected to their social media team. So far, It’s been a couple of days with radio silence. I plan to follow up with them over the phone first thing tomorrow morning as I’ve had little luck emailing and want to gauge the situation in real time. Wish me luck!
My second big win was related to a person in my past who I’ve been hurt by. I spent many days mulling over a decision as to whether or not I should open a court case against him. I found many reasons why I shouldn’t- it would interfere with my fresh start next year, may have a negative impact on my schooling, could be exorbitantly costly, might leave me held up in court for extended periods of time, would be a smear on my name both socially and culturally speaking- the list is endless. When I feel disheartened however, I remember the big pro. I will be working towards taking a perpetrator off the streets and exposing the truth of what happened that fateful day last year. No other girl or woman will have to feel as unsafe and devalued I did. I am responsible only for telling my story and shining a light on all the darkness he counted on me keeping hidden. While he will be found guilty of sexual assault, the only crime I will be recognised as having committed is not loving him back. My hopes for the perpetrator is that he will find his way to reform and be a person others can love and care for again. The scales have well and truly tipped and time is of the essence. I will now move forward armed with evidence and the will to not just merely survive but thrive in the face of great adversity.