It’s safe to say the heatwave in Sydney has truly hit and the suffering is underway! I spent the better half of this weekend up in the Blue Mountains at my grandma’s place, soon also to be mine. We had a much needed lie in, sleeping on and off until eleven. The wind blustered through trees outside, causing quite the racket. I was surprised the power lines didn’t snap, nor did any plants come down. My grandma and I spent many slow hours resting, watching shows on my laptop and consuming many bowls of neapolitan ice cream. I don’t have the biggest sweet tooth but that particular combination of flavours takes me right back to being a kid during the summer. I’d be at my great grandmother’s house in the afternoon and her freezer would be packed with ice cream bars and tubs. Strawberry, chocolate and vanilla. It really hit the spot. When I wasn’t reminiscing this weekend, I was shopping. My birthday is next wednesday and my mum took me out to choose a present. What better time than when sales are in full swing? I chose a short sleeved lacy top and linen culottes with a subtle striped. The perfect elevated outfit for warmer days. Earlier this week I’d ordered a few bits and pieces from my favourite ethical brand Seed Heritage. I’d had my eye on a pair of white jeans with matte gold button detailing and blue belted shorts. Look out for a small haul in the coming weeks- I hope it inspires you as much as it did me. Identifying your style and investing in well made clothing pieces that form a unique, cohesive wardrobe is a goal we should all work towards. As an artist, I see fashion as a clean cut extension to design. I enjoy living in a space that brings me joy just as much as I like to clothe myself in it. I frequently clear out my wardrobe, removing ill fitting pieces that have built up over time and replacing them accordingly. Many of my dresses, for instance, had become short, as had my jeans. I could wear them but I wouldn’t have felt modest or at my best. My grandma, bless her kind heart, is quite competent at sewing and has fixed a jumpsuit, dress and a few tops for me lately. As well as this, I’ve added in a few more elegant bags to the couple I keep on rotation, all in neutral shades of brown, beige and black. I have a few dressy bags in shades of blush and rose but don’t reach for them often.
The biggest change is that I went up a size in clothing- I’m now a ten. I’m okay with that. When I was younger I followed a strict vegetarian diet and was even vegan for a period of time. I restricted my diet and often kept myself from enjoyed food. I’d gotten to a point where I was making a conscious decision not to eat. Looking back, that is heartbreaking. Eating is as natural and necessary to our wellbeing and survival as sleeping or eating. It is a non negotiable. Our bodies are complex machines that process nutrients and calories without our intervention- we each have a natural weight range that we sit at and can maintain easily. When we keep to this, we’ll have plenty of energy and will look and feel lively. The truth is that a day or two of overeating will no have no real effect on what we look like. As it goes, weight is a poor indicator of overall health. You could be a toned fitness buff weighing the same as a curvy individual but with a significantly different appearance. It’s all about distribution and genetics. For a while, I’d gotten stuck in this mindset of needing to see a small size on the labels of the clothing I wore. I’d completely forgotten that I was no longer that young teen with an unhealthy mindset and priorities. Why should I expect myself to look the same after years of different experiences? The many months spent inside due to a pandemic, rape, a miscarriage, disordered eating. I might have gained weight but I also felt it fall off my shoulders when I decided to treat my body with honour and respect. I have stretch marks, scars, spots here and there. All point to a life well lived. A body that was a home. A body that shrunk and expanded, opened up and healed. A body that allows me the privilege of speaking, seeing, breathing, laughing, dancing, kissing, hugging, loving and so much more. What a miracle it is to be alive. The mess and the charm are one with each other.
This week has certainly been interesting. Finishing school has started to feel real- my teachers have begun signing clearance forms to confirm I’ll be moving next year. School is a chapter in my life that I’m ready to close- I can say that with certainty at this point. The college situation has thrown yet another curveball my way and we’re attempting to navigate that and do some damage control. The way private colleges work sometimes is through a few help system. Fee help allows you to pay a percentage of your course fees over a matter of years, once you start earning fifty thousand or more annually. Should your income drop below this figure, you’ll be under no obligation to continue paying. Suppose you waste your qualification and never earn this salary- the government will assume responsibility of your debt and you’ll be relieved of it. As it turns out, you have to apply for fee help. Towards the end of the week, my mum and I decided to bite the bullet and sign my acceptance papers. We looked through the fee help form and began to fill it out before realising that a tax identification number was needed. No big deal, we thought. Unfortunately, this could take up to a month to receive. There is no set deadline for accepting Billy Blue’s offer and getting the paperwork back to them but they start timetabling classes soon.
Getting qualified is expensive and the courses offered are somewhat inaccessible to your average person unless there’s a solid system in place. I’ve applied for a scholarship and will hear back about that this coming January. My course advisor has been in contact and review my portfolio and resume. She says it’s high quality, professional and that she’s confident I have a real shot at making it through. She’s been a real star throughout this process and has gone above and beyond to ensure I’m informed, comfortable and putting my best foot forward. When needed, she’s filled out applications for me and spoken to the right people to ensure they consider me and my work. I’m just happy that the scholarship position isn’t reserved for one person but is dealt on the basis of potential they see in a range of people. If there was only a single spot, many deserving individuals would miss out. I believe equal opportunities in the education system is crucial so am glad this is being recognised. Sometimes we need to be propped up in order to be on the same page as other people. Special accomodations aren’t designed to give people the upper hand or an unfair advantage. They exist to help those with unique struggles and impositions succeed too. I’d be among the very youngest at Billy Blue and by way of this have less experience and know how in the field. I can’t write a resume showing my climb up the corporate ladder. I can’t list my distinctions and promotions because I’m not there yet.
However, I’m imminently entering adulthood and I do have accomplishments to my name. Take this blog, for instance. What started off as a hobby I enjoyed for how mature it seemed blossomed into something else entirely. I’d never have imagined my space on the internet could bring me such community, nor that eighteen brands would recognise my consistency, eye for design, hard work + commitment to my craft and decide to take me on. It’s been five and a half years since infinitelyadaydreamer was born. More importantly through, this was when I took the leap and decided to follow my calling. My creative side is so happy I made the plunge. As of today, I have a readership of a thousand beautiful people. How blessed I am to call you my beautiful friends. Thank you endlessly for making my dreams reality and for pushing me towards greatness each and everyday. Your continuous support and words of affirmation are like nothing else- they instill courage and peace in me. Whether we are chatting about our plans for the week or deep diving into a thoughtful discussion, you are the reason I write. I know I can count on you to see me through all the seasons of my life, both joyous and sombre.
On another note, I have an interview with Sydney Design College on Tuesday. They are also city based with a campus in St Leonards. At this point, I’m remaining open and praying all will work out. TAFE has eliminated itself as an option, for starters. Earlier this year, we were told that applications would open the first week of December, right as I turned seventeen. A month proved to make all the difference when they switched the date to November. As I was under seventeen, TAFE needed proof that I’d finished Year Ten and fulfilled the criteria for receiving my rosa certificate, also known as record of school achievement. This document is unable to be released until the fourth of December. Places filled up quickly for the certificate four in Interior Design and Decoration, effectively pushing me out. I don’t mind so much though- TAFE proved to be a limiting pathway. I’d have to waste six months in a certificate course and the option of getting my degree doesn’t exist. Sydney Design College operates quite differently to Billy Blue and this I’m unsure of. Their diploma course fee is twenty thousand and you’d have to pay half of that upfront. There are no time slots to choose from class wise- nine thirty am to four thirty pm is it. You can go in two or three days a week depending on whether you’d like to fast track your studies or take it easy. The first semester begins January twenty eighth next year. As a not so morning person, I’m not sure how I’d make it work. At the end of the day, I owe it to myself to set up for success.