Last night I found myself on a nostalgia trip, recalling lyrics to songs that epitomised my childhood. Little wonders by Rob Thomas is what came to mind, the overarching message of our lives being made in these small hours through twists and turns of fate resonating more than ever. This week I’ve struggled to find balance and prioritise rest between increasing family demands, my personal relationships, the college workload and the mundane essential tasks that need revisiting each day. At times I’ve felt like a mere shadow of myself, pulled in countless directions and therefore unable to give wholeheartedly as I wish to. My periods of downtime lately have been characterised by anything but active rest. My mindset has shifted and I feel as if I need to optimise each and every hour in a productive manner. I’ve begun gently reminding myself that a break is not in fact time spent eating, cleaning, sleeping or driving back and forth in the car.
In that spirit, over the Easter long weekend, I’ve been sectioning off my day to allow for slow mornings and afternoons. I’ll read a book when I wake up or indulge in a lie in. I finally got around to picking up the delicious slice of carrot cake I’d been eyeing off. There’s a bakery cafe in my local area that has the most darling selection of treats. Their servings are generous too. Perfect for sharing between two during a coffee date. Another bit of good news is that my favourite movie, The Little Prince, has been adapted for theatres and is playing in the Opera House. I’d expected the tickets to be way out of an ideal price range but they were surprisingly affordable. My mum and I are going to make a girls night out of it. Have a nice dinner in the city and then watch the play. Finally, all the flowers have bloomed in the garden. They cover every bush. I see them every morning when I open the curtains. It never fails to put a smile on my face.
This week I spent an extra couple of days at the apartment in Parramatta with my mum and brother. We went to Bicentennial Park in the city and hired a family bike. It was so lush and green. I can honestly say that the teamwork involved in circling around twice was next level. The passionfruit ice blocks and chips we shared afterwards were well deserved. Circling around the park twice was a major feat, especially because it was sunny, crowded with people and an activity out of our fitness level. Nonetheless, I’ve been working tirelessly to improve my health and wanted to push myself the extra mile. I was told at a decent doctor’s appointment that I’m basically in the pre diabetic range and need to make some lifestyle changes or expect worse in coming months.
It was a big wake up call and quite confronting to know that I’d not taken care of myself as I should have. If I’m honest, over the past year, I’ve had bouts of depression that have gotten in the way. At times I’d forgotten to cater to my needs, lost the will to. While I wish I’d been more attuned earlier to how I was feeling, I know I couldn’t have nipped it in the bud because I didn’t understand what was happening to me. In the seasons of my life, depression has looked different. It’s manifested in numbness, oversleeping, disassociation, a lack of motivation or willingness to go about the day. However, it’s also found in toxic productivity, in working without breaks, in being emotionally closed, in putting my head down and pushing through when I needed an ear.
As I’m a night owl, my evenings have looked busier. Today I slipped into bed at the late hour of eight in the morning and managed four hours of shut eye. I’d turned in a major work for my design drawing class that required hardcore focus. By the time I’d completed my sets of drawings I could identify a good few mistakes but knew I’d be better off not puzzling over how to fix them. I certainly didn’t have fresh eyes at that point and knew the covers were calling me. To break down the assignment, we were required to construct and mark up a floor plan of our room and then elevate all four walls to form different views.
My room is quite busy in that I have large windows, french doors and a wardrobe that spans the length of the wall. Finally, we moved onto three dimensional construction. This section had me overwhelmed as I wasn’t sure how to translate real life measurements to fit within a certain scale. I’ve never been a particularly logical or mathematical thinker. I definitely underestimated how technical my career of choice is.
Tomorrow I have a presentation to make for my product knowledge class. We have to speak for two minutes, using that time to justify the design choices we made in our apartment decoration scheme. We’ll present a mood board with our finished textile and wall selections and give a suggested floor plan layout. I’m a little nervous as I’m ill confident with speeches but I’ll have a PowerPoint to refer to. Worst case scenario, I’ll read my slide word for word. I’m planning to bring some palm cards with a more succinct summation of my overall reasoning.
Yesterday my grandma and I went to a little neighbouring suburb, Leura. It’s a sleepy old heritage town but has so much charm. We were surprised to find that it was flooded with tourists at the time. That foiled our plans to have lunch at a local restaurant but we’ve rescheduled for next weekend instead. They have both an indoor and outdoor setting but the former is more intimate and cosy. Leura is home to a few of my favourite stores, one being Papinelle, a sleepwear boutique, and the other Bed Bath and Table, a homewares and decor shop. Both had mid season sales underway and I was able to pick up some incredible bargains.
I got a floaty nightgown in a dainty floral watercolour pattern and chiffon pants in this deep cornflour blue hue. From Bed Bath and Table I found the cutest wooden baskets. They have a striped neutral lining with tiny bows on the outside. I managed to find two in a large size, one in a medium and a set of three in small. I took them home and organised my closet to be more cohesive. It looks pretty dreamy if I do say so myself. The larger baskets house my Teen Breathe and Frankie magazines while the smaller three hold my purses and bags. A perfect fit!
As always, I’d like to leave you with excerpts from Morgan Harper Nichols Storyteller series. This week’s focus is on making room for what matters most. I hope her words speak to your heart as much as they continue to do mine xx