Determining what’s most important to us makes deciding where to live, work and spend our free time all that much easier. These are known as personal values. A guiding compass we can turn to when faced with decision. Our values stem from the upbringing we had, our belief system, personal experiences, moments of healing and trauma. They tend to look different for everyone. Brene Brown has curated an incredibly diverse list ranging from humility and compassion to wholeheartedness and stewardship.
Discovering our personal values and coming to lead a life that is driven by them is easier in theory than practice. It is not straightforward in the least. Your true self and sense of purpose are developed throughout different seasons and stages. You evolve as different versions of yourself are drawn out. It’s easy to confuse your values with your behaviour when in reality the two are independent of each other. Your essence, your truth, is not the career position you occupy, the skills you’ve honed or your interests. This is ironic because many of us would struggle to describe who we are when forgoing labels. Simply put, we must focus on our intrinsic, God given qualities, not our extrinsic developed abilities. Values are guiding principles that inform the way we move about our lives.
Becoming intent on self discovery can encourage us to look at the bigger, broader picture to discover common themes and links between the topics, people, projects and experiences that light us up and show our inner shine to the world. This doesn’t require a complete overhaul of self or a change your life course. An expensive seminar won’t do the inner work for you. Rather, by removing self judgement and following our intuition, we can cultivate peace.
Paying attention to the attitude, feelings and drivers behind how you talk about your life is an incredibly helpful tool across the board. You will begin distilling your core values through this process and come upon many enlightening realisations. Sometimes abiding by your values requires you to step outside of your comfort zone. Finding alignment with your true self will make this worth it. Putting your thoughts to paper isn’t akin to carving your values in stone. They will naturally manifest themselves differently over time and perhaps change entirely. Your teenage diaries, for instance, may not be a perfect map for what your adult self will look like.
Remember not to get caught up in judging what your inner voice is saying. Just let the words flow. Breathe easy. Forcing an answer will only serve to distract you and remove the purpose and intentionality behind this practice. It will skew your perspective. Feel free to analyse and deconstruct later. Imagine yourself as an archaeologist when you revisit your journals, carefully removing the dust of a scattered mind to find more profound meaning.
Write down your ideal morning routine, right down to the small details:
Will you sleep in till noon? Does your quiet time involve bible study, meditation, yoga, reading? Do you drink artisanal coffee or pop over to Starbucks? What’s your go to coffee order? Do you go for a run or walk at dusk? Do you spend time cuddling a pet? Do you have kids to look after? Do you eat a savoury or sweet breakfast? Do you sing in the shower? Do you pop on a face mask? Acai bowls or smoothies? Do you make the bed?
Values to consider: Balance, Leisure, Self Discipline, Routine, Independence.
Write about your future self in present tense. Do so in a matter that is optimistic yet realistic. Be true to you and don’t focus on perfection. Your creativity should bring about clarity like a developing polaroid shot:
What do you see around you? Do you live in a big city apartment with downtown views? Do you head to bed with a glittering skyline beyond the clear glass of your home, the sounds of traffic and the bright lights of marquee signs calling you? Alternatively, do you live in a rural cottage home with a white picket fence, a thriving garden of tulips and sweet farm animals to keep you company? Perhaps you live in a terrace home surrounded by nature and street art. Be open to designing your dream future. Let your vision run wild.
Values to consider: Competence, Travel, Adventure, Exploration, Personal Development, Environment, Career, Mastery, Family, Parenting, Risk Taking, Finances, Vision, Contribution, Home.
Who are your heroes? Are they living or dead, fictional or real? Who do you aspire to be or share a meal with?
Do you resonate with an adventurous spirit, content heart, a justice oriented and bold voice? Which values and forces propel your role models? What are their drivers? Do you feel as if the same values motivate the thoughts and actions you put out into the world? Do you admire celebrities, politicians, activists, presidents, actors? What do you consider to be a valuable contribution to the world?
Values to consider: Advocacy, Equality, Compassion, Adventure, Altruism, Vision, Justice, Grace.
What art and media moves or represents who you are? Are you visual or auditory? What impact has this creation had on your worldview and sense of self?
Write about your favourite movie, song, show, book or album in the most raw and unfiltered way you can to uncover why it has stuck in your heart and mind. Can you make a connection to your piece of media and a real life experience? Does it tie into memories of a person or place? Are you inspired or motivated by the words it contains? Do you feel like you can relate to them? Do they soothe or validate parts of you that feel messy and broken? Do you feel powerful and in touch with the creator of this work? Does it transport you back to a time or place that you long for again? Does this work do justice in giving meaning to what you feel you can’t adequately express?
Values to consider: Art, Beauty, Creativity, Connection, Nostalgia, Comfort, Self Expression.
Consider your social circle of friends- Do you have a lot or do you keep your relationships small and close knit?
Do your relationships overlap? Are you friends with family members? Are your relationships both elective and predetermined? Is there a common thread between the people you are closest do? In what ways do you keep close to your loved ones? What makes you feel most connected to a person? Is there equal give and take? What are your relationships built upon? Are you able to maintain connections long term or do the people in your life drop off once you leave a common place of interaction or fail to talk everyday? Will the most treasured people in your life be there for the good and bad times?
Values to consider: Community, Family, Reliability, Connection, Humour.
What fires you up, makes you tick? What do you commonly get into disagreements about?
When you’re with your people, what topics get your blood boiling and launch a heartfelt debate? Do these differ when you’re with strangers? Do you feel most comfortable speaking up in a room full of familiars or when you don’t know anybody? Do you feel strongly about whether the jam or cream comes first when you add toppings to your scone? Do you feel strongly about climate change and activism when the people you talk to are unfamiliar about or take an opposite stance in the issues? Do these interactions cause you to see the people you care about differently or can you remain neutral and agree to disagree? Perhaps in subjective matters but not when it comes to matters of morale. Examine this discord closely and you’ll find that your values lie somewhere in the space between you and your disagreements.

Describe yourself in no uncertain terms as a plant: Are you lush and boisterous? Are you severe and spiky? Do you need constant watering or indirect sunlight and arid conditions?
Are you tender and blooming or hardy and perennial? What colour are your flowers, if you have any? How do they make you feel? Focus on the type of plant you believe you are or that you want to grow into. Consider the growth cycle of this plant. Will you stay small or go big and bold, reaching towards the tree tops, the sky? Do you branch outwards, remain tightly coiled or stand firm and bound together? Are you a cactus? Are you a fiddle leaf fig? Perhaps you’re a succulent or a banana leaf plant. Do you have thorns or are you relatively unmarred? Do you consider yourself gentle? Are you poisonous or healing?
Values to consider: Environment, Leadership, Strength, Joy, Resilience, Growth, Nature, Independence, Resourcefulness.
Dig in and allow yourself to be vulnerable for a moment: What personal qualities do you find need work or improvement? What do you want less of in your life?
Values to consider: Wholeness, Well-Being, Success, Mental Health, Spirituality, Peace, Justice, Truth
Mindfulness is more than yoga and deep breathing. It’s present, embodied awareness- the establishing of a connection with ourselves, our routines and the world around us, especially in such an unprecedented time.
It’s a conscious state and takes genuine practice to develop ability in. The good news is that your starting point doesn’t have to be one of difficulty- here are fifty simple ways in which you can add mindfulness to your day and some journalling prompts to encourage your inner wordsmith.
AH! This is so inspirational, I’m going to have to read it again and again!!! Amazing post, Maryam!! ❤❤
Aw, that is the highest compliment! Thank you Makayla 🥰
This is so beautiful & wholesome 🥰 thank you for all you write! X
How kind! Thank you so much Chels. Hope you’re well! 😘
this is so so thought provoking and beautiful! x
So overjoyed to hear that Megan! What does your morning routine look like? x
Ah, my morning routine is constantly changing 😂 At the moment there’s a lot of smoothie bowls, and then a mad rush to get ready to get out the door! My summer starts next week though, so I’m hoping to get my morning back together again! xx
Haha, I totally hear you on that! When I was in school a morning routine didn’t even exist. I’d have to leave at ten to nine and would’ve woken up in a mad rush at eight thirty. Always did love my sleep, sometimes to my own detriment. Glad you’re enjoying summer so far! x
Thanks for the journal prompts! I’ve been struggling with what to write recently! Loved this post, Maryam!
I’m with you on that Arabella! What I enjoy about journal prompts is how they inspire deeper thought and get you out of that mindset rut. Big hugs friend! x
This is such a lovely post! I never really thought of writing down my morning routine but I’m definitely going to try it! Great post!! <3
I’d say it makes all the difference, particularly if you feel untethered and spacey in the mornings without some scheduling! x