This week I felt as if I’d begun the slow but sure process of taking my life back. As over dramatic as that may sound, I challenged the notions I’d entertained that letting my days play out solo and uneventful was best. When I was in the midst of my depression, especially at the height of it, I didn’t fear the passage of time. I didn’t consider how elusive it was, slipping through my fingers like grains of sand in an hourglass.
It struck me that it’s foolish to live in such a naive fashion. I’m not ageless by any means. I am subject to the world’s slow weathering. Why live out every day as if I have an abundance of them? Along with the anxiety surrounding growing old and not living up to the dreams, plans and expectations I have for the years to come was a newfound zest for adventure.
On Monday my Grandma and I watched The Age Of Adeline, a romantic fantasy film about a librarian who remains a miraculously youthful twenty nine years age for almost eight decades. Heads up- spoiler alert is coming. The woman in question is the beautiful and talented Blake Lively, in case you’re curious.
One fateful night she gets into a bad accident and is run off the road, landing in the water under a bridge. Her body goes into shock and starts to close down. It is at that very moment a lightning strike shoots through the water and jumpstarts her heart, changing the course of her existence forever. She goes on to assume new identities every few months, never allowing herself to stay in the one place for too long or get close to anybody, lest they discover her secret.
Adeline’s main connection is her grown daughter who could easily be mistaken for her grandmother. A chance encounter with a philanthropist, Ellis Jones, at an evening event reawakened a lust and passion for life within Adeline, encouraging her to risk being fully known for the possibility of being loved beyond measure.
However, during a weekend trip to stay with her new partner’s parents, Adeline’s past begins colliding with her present. She recognises his dad as a man she met years ago and was close to marrying, had she not got cold feet and stood him up. It was confronting for her to come to terms with the way he’d changed and she’d stayed the same.
Tension between the two arises and causes a slight rift between the man and his wife. Eventually, he recognises a scar on her hand as one he stitched up himself and puts two and two together after coming across old pictures. With everything out in the open, Adeline feels backed into a corner.
She packs quickly, drives away and gets into yet another fateful crash. The same weather phenomenon that rendered her ageless once before now reverses this effect. We leave off at the sight of a teary Adeline, overwhelmed by a newfound grey hair and the significant meaning behind it.
This movie inspired a lot of deeper thought for me. I began considering the firsts I’ve had and the traditional version of those experiences. What does it really mean to miss out, to be behind, to have the wrong priorities? A time in my life that has now passed is High School.
These years were fragmented- I wasn’t popular, I didn’t remain on the same campus throughout the entire duration, I wasn’t an honour student, I didn’t lead or take extracurriculars, I didn’t party like mad on the weekends or plan outings in every free moment.
Instead I worked myself to the bone for a few years, proved myself to people when I shouldn’t have had to, stuck to a boyfriend for three months until we no longer felt right, accidentally fell into a bad crowd and eventually zoned out in classes, doing the bare minimum and getting average grades.
It was interesting to see how my goals changed as I got older. My focus shifted from academics while I was in my perfectionist stage to building a social circle. I’m endlessly grateful for the connections I made. That much I can say. The relationships I fostered still serve me today and contribute to my wellbeing positively.
Tuesday was pretty relaxed. I picked up a cushion from the Sicily Girls collection at Adair’s to create a pair. I had bought the first one but thought initially that the second was too similar. I ended up ordering a cushion with a native print online but when it was delivered I changed my mind. It did nothing for my space in helping it to look cohesive. I couldn’t pinpoint an aesthetic anymore and my room looked scattered and messy.
When I called up I was told by a lovely lady that she’d put the last cushion on hold for me. The only kicker was that we had to drive over an hour way and be there the next day. I can tell you that we made it before closing, thank goodness. My bed looks absolutely gorgeous. I’m so happy with the end result.
My cousin and his partner are coming up from Melbourne for a few days to visit family and do some odd jobs so he’ll help me assemble my bed frame. After that I can put in my new quilt cover, pillows, mattress protector and the like. I’m so excited not to have to sleep on a mattress on the floor anymore!
On a lighter note, I reconnected with quite a few buddies of mine that I haven’t seen in a good while. Since I’m now on trimester one break from college for a month, I planned to stay in the apartment at Parramatta for the week to spend time with my mum and brother and be able to go out easily. I saw a guy friend on Wednesday and we went out to a lovely little Cuban cafe called Cocos Cubanos.
That place always makes me feel immersed in history and culture. Their decor scheme is very interesting. They’ve bought a series of colour and grey scheme photos and artworks from local thrift stores and put them in these quirky frames. It’s like walking into an older relatives place. Very homely and comforting.
My friend had never been before so he took a while to decide on a meal but I went for my usuals. Crumbed chicken dippers with a chill aioli and these mouthwatering halloumi fries. They’re thick cut and battered to perfection. There is literally nothing better than golden chewy cheese, especially when it comes with a pomegranate tzatziki sauce. For my drink I picked out a passionfruit mocktail.
They didn’t have a dedicated section so I asked my waiter to make it virgin and managed to save half the cost in the process. Besides, twelve in the afternoon is way too early to start any sort of drinking! It might be five o’clock somewhere but not here, haha.
Afterwards we decided to see a movie but not before stopping in at the local pharmacy. I had to pick up some bandaids because silly me wore sandals when a lot of walking was on the cards. By the time I’d fixed myself up, we were struggling to find our way to the shopping centre without getting caught in the construction works that have overtaken my little city. The weather forecast alluded to bad weather as well which we were keen to stay out of.
We got to the cinema around one in the afternoon and paid for tickets to see the movie the breath you take. We were advised that it was a bring your baby session which put me off initially. Ten dollar tickets are a definite perk but not if the lights have to stay on and the volume is so low. This just didn’t make sense to me!
The movie was rated in such a way that they wouldn’t let you in if you were under fifteen yet it was supposedly suitable for young kids. So much for impressionable minds, huh? It was a semi violent thriller so unsurprisingly there were no parents with kids. My friend and I had the whole cinema to ourselves.
On Thursday my mum and I had an evening event to attend for a favourite boutique brand of mine, Review. They were unveiling their new collection in time for Mother’s Day and set up sessions for the experience. I used up a fifty dollar voucher I’d earned for the month through their reward program and bought a gorgeous silky neck tie and belt to be worn with dresses and skirts that needed cinching in.
The latter actually came in handy for me on the weekend when I wore an Auguste the Label dress. I’d bought it in the size ten not knowing that it was a very loose style with a solid slip underneath. I looked fairly shapeless even with the string tie that came with.
Add a belt with a square buckle and I looked like a seventies chick or so I’ve been told! It was an enjoyable time overall. They set up a little stall with bubbly and these scrumptious vanilla sugar cookies.
On Saturday I met with a close friend of mine who I hadn’t seen since school let out last year. Her and I get on like a house on fire and are always able to pick up where we left off. We had lunch at another local place called Bondi Pizza and chatted about college and tafe life, our boyfriends, old teachers, plans for the future, where we want to travel next and so on. Just swapped stories and caught each other up on all that’s new.
She is just the sweetest and it was a highlight of my week to set aside the time to catch up. We ordered garlic bread for entrees and then my friend had a cheese pizza for her main. I had a look at the gourmet section and decided on the chargrilled lamb pizza with feta, balsamic, purple onion, roma tomatoes, rocket, sweet potato crisps and this tangy caesar sauce.
The eats this week were so good. Just unbeatable. On our walk back home we came across this cat. So gentle and friendly with the purest white coat and these dazzling blue eyes! I’ll admit that we debated taking him home. Such a cutie!
This Sunday was Mother’s Day for all my fellow Australians. My sweet mum took me out winter clothes shopping and I picked out an olive green country road jumper and soft pink knit from Witchery. It has this brushed gold circle zipper and a really structured collar that elevates the whole look.
We picked up a spot of lunch afterwards, a grilled tandoori chicken olive oil panini. Then we headed to Mother’s Day lunch with my grandma, aunty, her mum, uncle and my cousin and his partner. They brought their baby girl and she was just precious. So obsessed with her chips and tomato sauce. Her hair was done in this little pigtail on top of her head. We all joked that she looked like pebbles from the Flintstones, an old cartoon that was still in when I was little and would watch tv on the weekends.
We dispersed shortly after with my grandma and I heading back to the mountains. We gave my mum her gift first and seeing her reaction was priceless. Truly filled me with so much joy. She does so much for me and is one of the most selfless and wicked funny women I know. She’s strong and empowered and has taught me to approach life fiercely, never backing down when times are tough.