Am I a true Type Four Personality? Looking into my Enneagram!

 

 

You’re very self aware:

I’d say this is quite true of me. Combined with my penchant for overthinking and dwelling on matters that often aren’t so pleasant, it can be a recipe for disaster. On the plus side though, I’m highly introspective and value the time I’ve spent getting to know and understand myself, my motivations and my place in the world.

 

Your career and hobbies are creative:

Undoubtedly! I’m very artistically oriented and feel blessed to be able to explore so many beautiful creative mediums. I write, both posts on here and poetry in my journals, paint, photograph, collage and more. It’s amazing to me that I could potentially earn a living doing what I know and love. It’s never felt like work and I hope it never will.

 

You love to show your individuality:

Absolutely! I’ve never been one to want to blend in or walk the well travelled path. So far it’s served me well. I see being an individual as being someone memorable. Often times I’ll be out and see someone speaking their mind, being brave and authentic, with great style, a certain passion, zest and energy. It’s contagious and instills in me a certain confidence. I find them show stopping and they leave me in awe. Being the black sheep of the crowd is a whole lot better than blending in with the rest of the flock. I’d like to make a mark, be impactful. Acting small and ordinary is just not the way to being acknowledged as such.

 

You can be self conscious and vulnerable:

I wouldn’t say I’m self conscious but I have been working on showing vulnerability to the right people in appropriate settings. I’ve found it to be a really good way to further relationships. Ultimately, it’s a tool that breaks down walls and deepens connections when used tactfully. That’s why card games like We’re Not Really Strangers exist. True intimacy is a meeting of minds. I am moved by people who allow me to feel secure and held. It takes me a while to trust sometimes. Even in significant relationships, I’ve held off on opening up and wearing my heart on my sleeve the way I wished to. Some people I’ve never allowed to see me in my entirety. I’ve had to be discerning and protect my energy, space and wellbeing.

Part of growing up and maturing was realising that not everybody deserves to know me like that. Their inability to see what I have to offer is a loss on their part. There will always be something special about people who you can get into a groove with. The connection feels effortless, natural. A deeper part of you recognises them, their soul. You feel as if you’ve been with each other throughout a life. There is a certain tact, sensitivity and quiet understanding that can’t be overlooked or underestimated. We all yearn for that person who we can share openly with, who is truly in our corner. It’s a blessing to be able to add value to another’s life. The human condition is about so much more than our downfalls and weaknesses.

 

You are emotionally honest:

Emotional honesty is the ability to communicate feelings in a forward way while still remaining respectful. It is taking the time to feel what you will, no matter how uncomfortable and to do so without masking anything. I learnt a long time ago that bottling up emotions and repressing trauma only leads to feeling poisoned inside.  Some days you are thrown massive curveballs that upset plans you didn’t know you had. I get that! I feel the best thing you can do is figure out a way to move through your pain, not move on from it. There is no getting over what hurts you. It goes without saying that your circumstances change you. They affect your inner world, the stories you construct and build an identity from.

Being in touch with your emotional side does not make you crazy. It’s not a cliche, sexist and overplayed narrative constructed by society. It is core truth and the only way to tap into your and others motivations. This became very apparent to me as I recently entered the dating world once more. What I need in a partner is somebody willing to speak my language, speak from a place of mutual understanding. Men are taught that being expressive is synonymous with being weak and this couldn’t be further from the truth. I appreciate a guy who takes the time to understand a woman. Who knows that the way to her heart is not through mind games or a macho persona.

 

You feel different to others:

There is such a negative connotation surrounding feelings of being different but I’ve always thought of it as something positive. It isn’t necessary to be on the same wavelength as everybody else. As for me, I’ve always felt different and that’s because I know I am. Nothing inherently wrong with that!

 

You have a tendency for self pity and melancholy:

I’ve been told that I’m a bright and cheery person which describes me majority of the time. I may have diagnosed depression but I do well when fairly unchallenged circumstantially. I don’t wallow in misery but I can get lost in a trap of overthinking and wondering how I can fix any issues I’m experiencing. That experience of tunnel thinking can be suffocating sometimes. Dwelling on a matter is only hopeful if I can see a finish line or conclusion within sight. There is just a certain irressistable temptation in attempting to resolve a situation that is proving challenging.