Chances are you want to do something significant with your life, to find purpose and driving force that will bring meaning and enlightenment to your everyday. What’s relatively commonplace in faith based circles is regular discussions about Godly servitude. Doing big things for God, having big hope, big faith. Making big change and a big impact with the resources you’re equipped with and the choices you’re presented. In many instances, the defining point of success and validity of a faith community, event or gathering is mere numbers. The amount of seats filled, hands raised in the air. The bigger the better of course!
Bigger being what’s happening externally, outside of you, beyond you, apart from and separate to you. We’re taught we must sacrifice ourselves for these large, significant causes because that’s simply our part to play, the key move we make. The big sacrifice. I’ve often heard of people praying that God will use them, that they may be taken as a vessel for transformation and greater good. It’s an honourable and valiant thought but strange language nonetheless. Perhaps there is just as much unlearning as there is learning to be done here. Being used has never had a positive connotation. We like to think of faith as doing anything God asks, going anywhere He sends us, spreading the message he has bestowed upon our hearts. What we lack is critical autonomous thinking. There is no nuance to this, no wisdom. Just black and white faith.
Faith that what you hear and the unique way you interpret it is correct. That if you’re persecuted or hurt throughout the process of carrying out God’s major plan, that’s your cross to bear, your part to play, your sacrifice to make. I pray that you’ll find healing from the cold and insensitive notion that God uses people, that such an act is permissible. So what does God do, you might ask? He takes pride in being a good loving Father. God doesn’t have a plan for your life in the traditional way you may expect. You were not made to fit into a mould or fulfill a specific role. This is not the matrix. You don’t have to plug in, shut down and become stoic.
Know that God doesn’t want to use you. That is not who he is. You are uniquely you. The lens through which you see the world and the specific manner in which you craft, create, process, talk, live, move and breathe is like no other. It’s a living expression of Godliness, of juicy and divine creative energy that set our beautiful world in motion, spinning upon its axis. We are kept going each day to discover what lies beyond the limits of our comfort zone, to step into our power, refuse to be small and proudly take up space. I see that you wish to do big things. You ache to be significant, to have a profound legacy and leave an impact and mark on this world. The light within you beams brighter than imagination. Your very life force will ripple out from beyond you in ways you may never perceive. You are a temple and this earth bears witness to you. It is your shrine. The living memory of all that you were and have become, all that you have done and are on the path to doing.
Remember that you don’t need your name etched on stone, your face on book covers, movie previews and live streams across the globe to matter and be doing God’s work. Trust that the most important moves you can make lie within the subtle, subversive choices you make on a daily basis. This process is carried out within you. Decisions on how to love, show up, be vulnerable, lean into a spectrum of emotions, comprehend anxieties and fear as informational messengers, to follow your heart and the leading Spirit in tandem, seeking forgiveness and granting others the same, trusting and setting boundaries, practicing discernment in whether to say yes or no, knowing when it’s best to remain quiet. This big thing that is spoken of isn’t something you do. It isn’t an event, an incident, a situation, an institution. It doesn’t happen beyond you in a way that requires immense self sacrifice. You don’t need to fold yourself up, kill off your hopes and dreams in order to be alive to this mission.