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infinitelyadaydreamer

January 16, 2021

Hi, I’m Maryam! (1)

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First Light, My Muse: Your Monday Encouragement (25/7/21)

Am I a true Type Four Personality? Looking into my Enneagram!

Simplifying is not akin to being dumbed down- Going back to basics doesn't nullify beauty or brilliance or wonder or awe. We live lives of such complexity- we eat complex meals (have you read the ingredients on the packet foods we consume regularly?) have complex relationships.

So much of what happens to us in life serves to make us small, shrink us down to size, until we become hunched over, stiff, cowering, spineless, timid, ashamed. The little day-to-day failures and hardships are enough to whittle us down before anything particularly tragic even happens. And then we have our beliefs about the world and our place in it all.

You can be happy and sad, ethical and wealthy. You can have answers and still be learning. You can have time for your family and you can have time for yourself. You can be spiritual and a little lost too. You can be good and you can be bad simultaneously. You can win and you can lose, but, better yet, you can win/win if you adopt the abundance mindset of win/learn. You don't have to choose sides. You can love. You can learn. You can grow.

It's not so much that God's peace is beyond our ability to grasp it but that it can pass through all things. Even here, even in this, even in times and people and seasons you would think it impossible to find peace, it is there.

Reality always has an element of fear, because we can’t control other people, or everything that happens to us, or the things that happen inside of us regarding chemical reactions and illnesses. The one thing we have control over is our response. There is no fear in love because love is not motivated by fear. That doesn’t mean that love doesn’t make space for fear, listens to what it has to say, is compassionate and gracious, takes on what it needs to and leaves the rest. In fact, I think that’s exactly what love does.

I know soulmates exist, just not always romantically. I believe there are certain people you will meet in your life who you just connect with more than anybody else. You may not understand this and there may well be no rhyme or reason to it. In your heart of heart’s though, you recognise this isn’t typical. It is far from ordinary and you understand each other perfectly. This person reminds you of home and an adventure simultaneously. You talk through days and nights and feel as if you’ve known them an entire lifetime.

If you start living for the smallest reasons, that’s when you’ll know you’re getting the most from this life. The smell of rain after a thunderstorm, the crunchy colourful leaves pavements when it’s autumn, the harvest season and the unspoken competition to pick the freshest tomatoes, the mediocre midnights and the colour of the sunsets, the smell of fresh bakery goods early in the morning.

You will always be too much of something for someone. Too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. If you found out your edges, you lose your edge.

If I could offer you one piece of advice to hold in your heart, it would be to appreciate every second you have with what you love, be they places, objects, people, experiences. Cherish them and hold tight to the awareness that these moments are fleeting, almost illusory. Our minds are like photo books. Snippets of these seconds of time arrive in flashes when you are most unsuspecting. They creep up, blanket you in warmth and remind you to hold tight to what matters. Be vulnerable, cherish wholeheartedly, air your grievances less, love harder. Your intensity is not a character flaw.

A list of things I love: flowers, the smell of rain on a summer day, waking up with time still left to sleep, family, hanging out with friends, scream singing to my favourite songs, steamy showers, watching the snow fall, sunrises, sunsets, fires in the fireplace, Christmas time, Christmas music, Christmas movies.

Positive self dialogue from Daniel Koepke: Most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself. Trying to become smaller, quieter, less sensitive, opinionated, needy. Less me because I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to be too much or risk pushing people away.

I’ve got a thing for the people who are undeniably themselves, the ones with messy hair and even messier souls. The kinds of people who wear their hearts on their sleeve and have passion in their tears.

We all have a bag and we all pack differently. Some of us are travelling light and others are secret hoarders who have never parted with a memory in their life. I think we are all called to carry our bag to the best of our ability, to learn how to unpack it and face the mess. I think part of growing up, of gaining maturity, is learning how to sit down on the floor with all your things and figure out what to take with you and leave behind- Hannah Brencher 👜

The person in life that you will always be with the most is yourself. Even when you are with others, you are still with yourself, in this body, thinking your thoughts. When you wake up in the morning you are with yourself, laying in bed at night you are with yourself, walking down the street in the sunlight you are with yourself.

Never go too long without celebrating this life. Never get so caught up in the day to day busyness that you forget just how wonderful it is to be here, living and breathing and moving forward.

I understand that you desire to know love because I do too. I just hope that you know you don’t have to wait around for it. You can let the light in and feel worthy and whole as a person in the interim.